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Saturday, October 24, 2009
I'm superb moodless during these few days . Yesterday , after school , i was certainly nort myself . Faizal called , and he's mad at me all of the sudden ); I'm sorry , if i made you mad Faizal , even if i didnt know what made you mad ); I'm waiting fer your call since yesterday incident , I don't wanna lose you too soon , best friend ); Well , friends , thanks for the birthday wishes aye (: I love you guys alot , truckloads (: Ouh jyeah , Haikal Dearest , thanks fer the msg you sent me (: Even if we don't contact much these days , i still appreciate everything . Thanks fer wishing me , and for trying to make me smile on my special day yesterday (: I still love you though , still waiting (: Hizkil kawannnnn baekkkk akuhhh , Thanks fer being there fer me when i need someone (: Thanks fer spending time with me , when i'm alone , And fer making me laugh , smile every single time i'm about to cryy (: Thanks for everything , thanks fer helping me out . Syggggggggg kauuu (: Now , to *insertsnamehere* , You need not to pretend with me anymore , I heard every single word from her , about what you talk about me . I know you hate me fer who i am now . Smoking , slack around here and there every single day , and nort spending time with you guys . But hey , remember , you gort someone there fer you , two guys fer you . I have no one left . I knew you would say , i still have my friends what . But , if you were in my position , you would knew what i feel . I know , you would compare me with her , Why can she move on , where her case is much more worser than me , And i can't ?? Lemme tell you , different people has a different feelings , different mindset of thinking . Yes , you guys expect me to move on , and forget bout him . I'm sorry , i can't , and i won't , fer now . I just wanna beg to you guys , please please please don't ever ask me to move on . 'Cause i can't . My life , and my lovelife , is different . You , gort someone out there , to meet with , to text with , to on the phone with , but i have no one special . Thereotically , guys have been calling , texting me , but do i show any interest in them ? Did i entertain them ? But instead , i gave them a wall to entertain with . I still love him , i can't forget bout him I'm sorry , But i'm just disappointed in you and some of the others , fer nort supporting me in this . My change in behaviour , doesn't have anything to do with my lovelife . Even with these new behaviour , i don't even forget bout you and others . I gort my own purpose in doing this . I have my own limitations . I'm sorry . I just can't believe why you would do this to me . You even , doubt me about having an affair with him . What's wrong with you ?? I don't have a time fer a new relationship right now . I thought you trusted me ? I thought you say , your best friend won't ever betray you ? But now , what ? He called me this morning , just to tell me what you said about me and him . I seriously can't understand when you said , he puts me first before you ?? All this while , yesterday was the ever first time i talked to him in person . Do you see me everyday , running up to him , and talking to himm ? Do you ? Best friends have their own limitations . I can't tell you everything , cause i too , need my own privacy . It's like you haven't kept a secret from me before in yr life . I'm seriously disappointed with you . You doubt me , without asking me fer the truth . I love Haikal , only him , no one else . I didn't named you guys , 'cause i don't want people to know who you guys really are . You are still my best friend , but i'm just totally down with what you said . ); I rhink i'm gonna get my hands of the lappie now . i'm gonna get ready fer the outing later . haishhh . take care peeps .  Akq Syqin (: , thanks fer yr advice fer me aye ? (: Thanks fer being there fer me when i need a shoulder to cry on (: Thanks fer cheering me up when i'm totally down about something . Thanks fer yr blog post about me , i love you aqk (; I will too , be there for you when you need me (: Demi akq kayhh , adq sanggup tolong (: Akq pun tqmo sediyh2 agyk kayhkayh ? Papehr , adq will be here fer you every single time . Picet my number , aqk gort me already (: Aqk no need to worry ayeaye bout *insertsnamehere* , i know how to handle it fer you (: Sygggggggggggggg akq bnyk2 okayh ? Don't worry , yr secret is safe with me kayhkayh ? Tke cre dearest aqk (: I'm gonna enjoy my outing with you later , then we take lots&lots of pics okayh ? meet youu later sis ! ;D Wednesday, October 21, 2009 Heyloh freako readers . Yes , as it was stated there , i'm definitely bored to erm , death ? Probably , going out soonn , to lepak with Ahmoi & others at 503 . Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . Birthday this friday , Kayak-ing this friday , What's more huh ? I'm seriously like so fcuked up with my life . I'm sick . Go hell with that . I just don't care what's wrong with me anymore . I don't care if i'm sick , dying or what . I just want to live my life to the fullest . I'm sick of crying everyday , every morning , every night . I'm weak , yes , i'm totally weak inside . People says i look like i'm a happy go lucky girl , Yes , i do look like one , But i'm nort totally like one of that girl . I'm suffering , i'm struggling to go through that line . I need that someone to pull me up and face everything together . Boy , i'm sick physically , but i'm trying to be strong . I just want you back in my life . Bye . Thursday, October 15, 2009 I'm taking back my words . I just realised i can't move on . Yana told me , i can , i'm strong . But i realised i can't . I really can't ); I try avoiding you for this past few days , Yes i tried , but i knew i can't withstand the pain in me anymoree . If you say you're trying to forget me , why do you get mad everytime you see me on the line with someone else ? Why do you get mad when i accidentally send a msg to you , when the msg is nort meant for you ? I didn't do it on purpose kayhhhh . Why do you ask me to delete yr number , after receiving the wrong msg from me ?? Whyy ? Whyy do you always stare at me ?? Whyyy ? When *insertsnamehere* talked to you bout me , your tone changed to a sad tone , and you say you didnt want to talk bout me anymore . What does that mean ?? You're trying to forget meee ? When i'm on the phone with yr younger brother , why do you always ask him what did i talk about to him all along ?? It's that what you're saying you're trying to forget me ?? You can't stand seeing me with some other guy , being happy , and you went back home , cursing me all along . ); All along , i don't have any guyy . I don't have any interest in them anymore . My heart is still locked . I wonder , why i can't accept other guys easilyy like i used to last time ?? Whyy ? It's because i love you deep down in my heart . I really do . I may look like i don't even care bout you , don't even bother to look at you . But hey , inside i'm suffering like some shitxzxz . Yesteerday , when i'm onthephone with *insertsnamehere* , and i heard everyth , i just kept on crying , after such quite a long time nort crying ); What does this shows ?? I want you back ); I know this isn't mainly because of yr parents . My heart is only meant for you . I know , you can't forget about me . How can you simply forget bout our 5 months plus together ? Even though it's only 5 months , it means alot to us . Then there you are , trying to deny everyth , when *insertsnamehere* knows you're trying to lie . You can't hide it . My tears are meant for you ); I told you , i'm trying to move on , but i can't . I just can't . These months means alot to me . I can't accept other guys easily , like i used to last time . My heart is locked . You can't stand seeing me with other guys , and i can't stand seeing you with other girls . I will be crying , and you will be mad . Don't you understand all this Haikal ? Hais i don't want to say it . You contact with *insertsnamehere* to forget bout me , But she now knew how much i suffers all the while , and how much i love you . I'm nort the playgirl you used to know . Now i knew how much i really need you in my life . You're my pillar of strength . Everything just sucks without you here . I just need you back . I'm cryingg here , waiting for youu ); Haiss . I need you back , please ); Labels: )); Saturday, October 10, 2009 Hey guys . Details here ; I broke up with that jerk , yes , i just did , yesterday (: One mintue i'm screaming at Huda , the next minute , i'm good friends with her (: Last three papers on Monday && Tuesday , which is History , Science && Mathematics Paper 2 . Going to slack around with Huda & Qis on Monday after school (: Handphone faulty like shit , Sent to repair && gonna buy new handphone soon (: Yeah , crap . My current phone is just like 2/3 months plus old , and i'm getting a new handphone alr . Pampered sungguh si Iana niek . Waink ! Advanced birthday present (: Ouh jyeah , birthday coming soon . NICE . I don't want a birthday bash , ouh god damn it . It's quite bad okayh with all the flour over you . Pffft . I knew how it feels like . Crap , damn it . And yes , now , i'm using Shikin's spare hp . Downgrade fer awhile . But thereotically , i'm happy with my life now . No more stupid arguments/attitude of a jerk which i've to deal with EVERY SINGLE HELL DAY OF MY LIFE . Byee (; i just realised that , true love doesn't exist in my life right now . it hurts alot , but yes i have to try to move on . Thanks fer all the support , beloved friends . Huda , i'm sorry he broke up with you on yr birthday , he's just a jerk right ? We can do it , sis (: Labels: True love doesn't exist for me . Tuesday, October 6, 2009 Ouh freak . Everything sucks since last thursday . Freaking out . AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HELLL . Wow . Bie's dad called me yesterdayyy . 3 hell times . 2 missed calls from his handphone , and another 1 from his home . GAHHHH . Calls around 10 plus . But i didnt picked up . Erm like hello ? I was busy studying , and i don't want to be disturbed right . So yeah , my hp was on silent mode , and i left it on my bed while studying uhq . Finish studying at around 11 , i checked my handphone . Wow . 4 new messages and 3 missed calls . Lazy to entertain , i just packed my schoolbag , and went to sleep . Went to school with Wan , Shikin , And Nana . Wahhh , Nana had become my new partner lahh siolxzxz ;D We walked to school , holding hands .;D Haha , WAIT . She's Wan's younger sister , and she's a primary 1 kid ;D Hoho . She hyperactive y'know . Haha ! ;D Then school as per normal . After school , went to library with Yana Babe , study maths ! ;D Rajin kankan ? Huahuahua . Then i saw some stupidy assholes . Woots ! Blood pressure gone up lah siialxzxz ! Still nort satisfiedd ! GRR . Kayh sabar2 . Darh lahh bye . Room havoc . Siblings playing catching -.-" Gonna chase them off with my screaming . Hehe ;D Byebye ! ;D I want the old you , can ? I love you , still . Friday, October 2, 2009  Wow . I hate updating my blog . But heyhey , kayh , i take back my words . Im just so totally pissed off lahh okayhh . Something that made me pissed off just now . I mean , seriously FCUKING PISSED OFF . But bie told me to ignore those BXTCHES lahh kayh . Pffffffft . Ouh yeah , bout me and Haikal , we patch lahh kayh . Some sort of like weird patch . Hoho ;D He wanted to continue from our 030409 -.-" So i just okay-ed it lahhhh . But i remember , we first got back together on 170909 . Soo , its like 030409 cum 170909 lahh kan . Kayhhh , weird , i knoww . So means , tmr my so called 6thmonthsaryy ;D Wooots . But during the 2 weeks plus when we broke up , something badddd happen . Ouh heell , i hate you girl , you know that ?! Isnt it obvious he left you just for me ? Why can't you accept that fact ? Why must you badmouth about me to yr friend , which also happens to be my so called friend , and now she treated me just like an enemy ??? Go to hell lahh bxtch . Just accept the fact and move on . You're lucky , i close one eye . Just seriously , fcuk the hell off . Kayh , still pissed off . Well tmr going out raye with the clique . Kayh best , cool . Can release my stress . Ooo . Gonna start 10 in the morning . That's fcuking early , 'cause we've gort more than 10 houses to go. Woohooo . Hhaha ;D Bie nort coming tmr , he gort some help to do at home , cause he's gort an open house . Pffft . Kayh gtg , will update later lahh . Byebye . |
 A perfectly rebellious lady, A lady full of mixed emotions at the same time, Love to snap random shots at an unexpected timings, I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. Basically, I'm just a normal humanbeing, just like you guys.  My One & Only Prince Charming♥ He's been my second pillar of strength , right after my family . He guide me,shower me with endless love , And he never seems to end it. That's the reason why we got on stronger throughout this 11 months plus , And we are still counting. |